I like the saying which expresses how time can be different: A minute which you spend in front of the toilet door is much longer than the minute which you spent already behind sitting on the toilet :-)
For me there is a big difference in time which I spend active way – working, exercising or simply doing things which I like and the time during which I feel so bad that I have to stay in bed. At this time I feel myself completely helpless. I want to change it, I would do whatever I can, but my body just does not listen to what I am saying. After some time I find strength to get up again although it is very hard and painful. My friends just wonder how I do this and I wonder myself as well to be honest. On the other hand, I think it is not important to know how it works, the important things is that it works.
I love doing exercises and walking. Both are great and I feel like I was well doing it. Exercises are done with my personal coach who I like very much. He became my friend and we understand each other in a great way. He admires my determination. However, he is sometimes angry with me when I am too stubborn and want to do things which I might not do rather.
I still remember how I called my coach for the first time and how surprised he was when he saw me in the end. We started slowly just with a few exercises done on the floor. At the beginning he was a little bit afraid that he could hurt me but later I encouraged him to do more and more and trust me. In my opinion trust is very important. I know a lot about him and I like the way he has been working with me. Later, before the second operation I was in a really good shape, doing my work-out on the equipment. I was better and better feeling in a great way when the second operation came. I had to say that my coach stayed in touch with me all the time I spent in hospital and thanks to him the second operation was much more easier than the first one.
At present I am quite concentrated on indoor cycling which I have fun with. I did not expect me to be able to do it, but one day I just made a decision and tried. It worked, so I tried again. I started with just sitting as my coach did not want me to stand up, but when he was not looking at me, I had a try
My back immediately became hard and I felt sharp pain inside, so I had to sit back. I got scared that I did something wrong, so for a few minutes I was just sitting and cycling. After a while I tried again, with much more focus on strengthen my back. This worked in a good way and I managed to do a few steps. I guess everybody can imagine what my coach told me seeing this. However, we both knew that I would do that again next time
I am not sure if what I have been doing is right. My friends, especially those ones from the rehabilitation centre are very much afraid of me. because of the extremes in which I am trying to stand up more and more and the stages in which I suffer from pain, tiredness, problems with breathing or urinal problems very much. Time will tell us….