When I was down in the dumps, feeling really depressed, I would say the worst thing about it was the fact I was going down as I could not see where it could end. Now, I think I have already been going up finally. It is painful, so much painful that I guess nobody can imagine. I have been struggling with so many problems, trying just to ignore them and go up and up…
It was really hard to make this decision to go on to be honest and I am still not sure if some of my decisions are right. However, I have already made them so I feel reliable that I should keep them. On the other hand, I feel often happy from any little thing which happens to me.
The first one which I have made is about doing exercises again. I have started to do them at home and in the gym as well. It is very hard as they are sometimes really very painful and I am not sure if to do them or not. Beside that I think they are good for me as they bring me energy and I feel myself quite happy when I finish something new what I was not able to do before. For example, indoor cycling. I was not sure at the beginning if to even try this, but then I told myself that if I do not try, I will not know, so I decided to do it. It is ok for my legs, but I feel a bit strange regarding my back as there are moments in which I feel it like the part in which I have the screws is like frozen. I feel the same when I am doing exercises for my back, just lying on the floor.
Furthermore, I have been trying to work more and more. That is quite complicated from time to time as my stage is not good. However, I have found out that there is always a way, it is just about looking for the ways how to do it and not thinking of how hard it is when I cannot do it. Work-routine is great. It brings peace and stability into my life. Moreover, I feel really good when I do a good job and when I am admired, if I can say it like that J